Impure and Ugly
by Smashed Kakeshi
Summary: Kagura has always loved Kyo because of pity. One day she had to realise it; it would never happen. A gone forever three days grace songfic. Based after when Kagura confesses that she only loved Kyo because she pitied him.


Kagura lay back and allowed the rose aroma to take hold. Nothing was better than a good cry then a hot steamy bath with real flower petals. She had lied to herself often enough; telling herself that she Had no idea why her and Kyo hadn't worked and that she had no idea what was wrong with him anymore. But secretly Kagura knew that although it felt beautiful it was by no means what it felt. Her Love for Kyo was impure and ugly. She had stayed up some nights, praying that he could love her back and stop her being so impure. Selfish prayers but true from the deepest depths of her aching heart. Sometimes she couldn't believe that she had told him why. About the pity that caused her love. But her sense of reality told her exactly the opposite; that she had done it and there was no turning back. She closed her eyes, it seemed as though she could just die there and then and it wouldn't matter.

But sometimes it felt as though, when she told him the truth, a weight had been lifted. Now that he was gone she could think about more important things. She had thought about college since she had told him, a thought that made her wonder whether she just wanted to run away from what she had done. But she lied to herself; telling herself she was happy that he was gone and that she didn't miss him in the slightest. But sometimes she couldn't deny that, sometimes, she was truly missing him because of what she had done. But he was gone and that was that.

It was if the scented steam was clearing her once uncertain mind. She didn't need him; she could carry on... couldn't she? The fast paced world around her was no place for someone who dawdled in the past. She had been to a few house parties recently, something she hadn't done in His time. She stayed out all night and used the drinking and dancing to distract her. This way she could forget about what had happened; at least until morning.

She knew that she could make her quality of life better. Party and get an older boy like college girls should. Find a bunch of squealing college girls to befriend. College was for people who lived for the now, not the desolate past.

She knew that she had held on for too long. That at the first sign of Kyo's annoyance, she should've stopped. She knew it could have been better, for both of them. She still hoped that he at least missed her a little bit. It didn't have to be much. God, he didn't even have to understand the feeling! He just had to feel it, was that so hard for him? In a way she hoped that he wanted her more than ever now that they couldn't have each other. She wanted to punish him.

But suddenly something burned through the confusion in her brain. She could do it! Hell hath no fury like a Kagura scorned, right? Suddenly she knew; Kyo would end up with Tohru Honda. She had been stupid and delusional but at times she had been the best friend Kyo had needed. She had loved him. And with her new revelation, she knew she needed life. She opened her eyes and became alert. Alert that she needed life more than Kyo, Alert that although it hurt; she had done the right thing and she knew that she couldn't give up!

Kagura sung happily as she washed herself, and climbed out of the bath dripping wet. She smiled into her cream towel with happy realisation. And a few cans of hairspray and a ton of make-up later, she was off. She bounded down the stairs, said goodbye to her mother and practically skipped through the door.

Her mum smiled. She thought about her daughter and was glad that she had made her mind up.

And at that instant Kyo, who was sitting eating dinner with Shigure, Yuki and Tohru, Knew he would never be bothered by Kagura again.

A/N- YIPEE! My debut story! I cant asses my own work (I have issues and don't like my style). So I put this up so you lot can do it for me! I'm not expecting much. I'm going with the saying "go there expecting nothing because the anything is an achievement!" I've had way too much sugar so I'm rambling now! Go on you know that little purple button is calling your name!

And now you're gone forever


End file.
